You remind me of my favorite Yankee president, LBJ who believed:
(1) Everybody and his mother has a price however steep,
however prohibitive, however exorbitant.
Now Hosh, in the curious case of Caato, the supreme bastard,
bugger, and SOB you have mentioned, I
believe the TNG is being a tad too timid and generous.
Let me negotiate with Caato for the TNG and watch me give
him what he deserves by giving him the third
I bet you Caato will be jumping for joy when I tell him
the good news that he won't be going to jail; that he won't
be prosecuted for all the awful crimes, high and low, that
he has been committing against the humanity and the
dignity and the integrity of the Somali race; that he can
keep all that he had looted from our Somali patrimony.
He will be so happy, so relieved, that he will forget to
ask for filthy lucre, American or otherwise!
LBJ also believed:
(2) Everybody and his mother have a breaking point!
The TNG cannot break anybody just yet since it has neither
teeth nor muscle unless you consider the Cayr
marauding Moriyaan, the terrorists, the torturers, the tormentors
and the killers of the innocent, the elderly and the children,
and their mothers to be the national armed forces of Somalia
ala our obtuse Alasow soi-disant
savant and lawyer of human rights and mores!
By the way LBJ finally came a cropper and conked out of
broken heart when he encountered his
comeuppance: someone who was so principled that he couldn't
be bought and so brave that he couldn't be
broken even though LBJ bombed his country, Vietnam,
all the way back to the stone age: I am referring, of
course, to the late Hero of all freedom-loving people all
over the world: Uncle HO CHEE-MEEN!
I believe Shatigadood is our Uncle HO: he cannot be bought
nor can he be broken by the TNG! Ask Aideed
and his Habarkintir! They will tell you what a tough cookie
and customer he is!
You and I--especially you and most of the Israaca have
gone out on a limb for the TNG and our
beloved TNG is busy day and night sawing off that precarious
and precious limb so much so that I am afraid
one of these days all of us will fall flat on our big fat
fannies and the Moses and other naysayers in our midst (
especially Mohamood Musse and Musse Guled) will laugh us
out of court with the parting shot of:
WE TOLD YOU SO, YOU DUMMKOPFS
WHO DON'T KNOW
WHO CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN CHUMPS, CHIMPS, AND CHAMPIONS!
WHO DON'T KNOW
WHO CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN GORILLAS AND GUERRILLAS!
Hosh, honestly, TNG seems busy everyday shooting themselves
in the foot: this TNG must really be the original gang that
can't shoot straight! That will never learn to shoot straight!
Hosh, let us, you and I go over there and set them straight
by telling them how dumb and how embarrassing
they are to the rest of the world; by telling them how impossible
they are making it for all of their friends and well wishers
to ignore and explain away their gaffs, their goofs, their
howlers, their ineptness, their self-inflicted wounds! They
seem to be their worst enemies! Forget Mohamuud Musse and
Hosh: Is it too late for you and me to embrace the
position of AHMED ISSE AWAD which is:
ABOVE ALL, stay above the fray, don't RISK LOSING YOUR CREDIBILITY
AND AMORE-PROPRE BY
creeping or crawling into any narrow political tent however
tempting so that later on you can piss in peace with
impunity and with confidence and with authority on any of
them whenever their innate ugly nature calls for it!
Remember: Ahmed is not a political novice, an amateur, naif
and a tyro like Togane. He is a pro and a political
scientist, a Macavity Majertayn, and was present in Arta
at the creation of what might yet turn out to be a turkey
and a mare's nest and the biggest albatross around our own
In fact, Ahmed was one of the architects of the TNG!
Remember, the beginning of the end for Afwayne was when
the Macavity Majertayn like Ahmed Isse voted with their
feet and FLED to Ethiopia!
Remember where the Majertayn head goes, the Somali ass follows
WITHOUT A QUESTION!
Remember where the Majertayn head heads, the Somali behind
cannot be far behind!
Now that mighty Majertayns like Ahmed are keeping their
distance from the TNG, I see the beginning of the end for
By the way, Hosh, this morning, your brother-in-law and
buddy, Qanyare, one of the most astute and the wiliest
and the zaniest AND MOST OUTSPOKEN AND OUTRAGEOUS Ministers
of the TNG called me to thank me for my passionate and public
conditional support for the TNG splashed all over the world
on the Banadir
I have never known Qanyare to say: No comment! I have
never known Qanyare to mince words; go ask the Darod and
Qanyare tells like it is and he doesn't know what politically
In a nutshell, Qanyare's political philosophy which he had
acquired in his salad days at the butcher shops of
WIXEE LA QARIYAA QURUN AA KU JIRO!
WHATEVER IS CONCEALED
CURDLES THE BLOOD!
I asked him:
--Please, Qanyare, do tell me, what is keeping you and the
TNG from being a hit and a resounding success in
all of Somalia? I know and you know and the whole world
knows how ripe and how ready and how passionate and how
thirsty the Somali people are for peace.
Togane, Abti, (Qanyere's mother is Wacaysle like me! ) let
me level with you. The Somali people are ready for peace;
the Somali people are ripe for peace; the Somali people
are passionate for peace; the Somali people are thirsty
for peace; but unfortunately, TNG is neither ready, nor
ripe, nor passionate, nor thirsty for peace and reconciliation!
Galayrd is busy 24 hours fending off the blows and the buffets
and bluffs and the slings and the arrows of
outrageous Ina Salad Boy; Ina Salad Boy is busy counting
and considering and slobbering and smacking his
thick Negro lips over all the loot and the loyalty of his
Cayr agnates when he is not busy beating on the pinions
and the opinions of Galayr; POOH-BAH is busy threatening
all the time to shoot Galayr and his eager eagle on sight
for trespassing on his turf, on his foreign affairs fiefdom.
Needless to say, first and foremost TNG will have to sit
down, negotiate truce among themselves and then peace and
reconciliation among themselves before they can deliver
Peace and Reconciliation to the poor and long-suffering
OBVIOUSLY PEACE LIKE CHARITY MUST BEGIN AT HOME!
OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T GIVE WHAT YOU YOURSELF HAVEN'T GOT!
LABA QAAWAN ISMA QAADO!
TWO COLD NAKED NIGGERS CANNOT CARRY
CUDDLE EACH OTHER!
And what are you doing about the TNG situation?
I am busy looking after number one, after myself!
I am busy taking care of business!
I don't have anytime for the silly squabbles of Boy, Galayr,
and the Pooh-Bah! After all,
I am a busy man!
I am the minister of all the seas and all the fishes of
all of Somalia!
I AM THE MINISTER OF ALL THAT CREEP AND CRAWL IN THE SOMALI
SEAS and under the Somali Seas!
Can you imagine how many fishes there are out there in all
of the Somali seas?!
And Somalia has the longest and the richest coastline in
And as you know Somalis don't eat fish: that is why they
are so stupid and dumb AND KILL AND CANNIBALIZE EACH OTHER
WHEN THEY ARE NOT BUSY DESTROYING THEIR ENVIRONMENT MAKING
THEIR HOMELAND INHOSPITABLE AND INHABITABLE!
IF SOMALIS ATE FISH THEY WOULDN'T BE SO PERVERSE!
SUCH SILLY PERVERTS WITH SO MANY COUNTLESS SECRETS---THAT
IS WHY NURUDDIIN FARAH
HAD SUCH A FIELD DAY WITH THEM IN HIS LAST NOVEL, APTLY
Every day I am busy trying to persuade STUPID STARVING Somalis
to eat fish and become smart like the Somali JaaJi Darod
and like the Japanese!
You know how long it will take me to poison and kill all
that fish happily swimming in Somali waters and pollute
all those pristine and turquoise Somali seas?!
Togane, I am telling you, I am one busy son of a bitch!
I have no time or truck with all the silly antics of the
I call it Tomorrow's National Government and remember in
our BENIGHTED Somalia tomorrow never comes!
My plate is full: I have enough fish to fry; I have enough
troubled waters to fish in!
My seamanship in the Somali political seas is turning out
to be titanic!
Go and see the film called THE TITANIC if you want
to get a rough idea of where I and the TNG are taking the